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Photos with “Ken” in Times Square: A Study in Awkwardness
As part of some weird advertising campaign to promote the 50th anniversary of Ken dolls, Mattel has been putting on a full blitz, including subway posters, web site banners, and, on Monday,...
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Overview Of Cheetos Puffs
In which this contributor eats an entire bag for unsound reasons. There is a liquor store named after the street it’s on, the same street on which I reside. This is an obscure way of saying I go to...
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Being An Artist In The 21st Century
In a run-down bungalow in Los Angeles in 1969, an obscure alcoholic writer sat in a kitchen full of old newspapers and tins of bacon grease, working out his daily living expenses with a pen he borrowed...
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The Will To Connect: Some Thoughts On Human Nature In The Age of Social Media
In my last article here, I discussed the need to have a serious conversation about social media ethics. I was deeply encouraged by the responses it generated, and I look forward to continuing the...
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Jesus, VP Of Marketing At GodCo™
Jesus got off the flying disc. It was, after all, the only flying disc in existence, given to him by his father, Godfrey Cunningham — God for short. He checked his watch. It was 12:22 PM. His father...
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Your Twitter Timeline Probably
Some celebrity LOVES their new Coach bag and this is totally NOT a sponsored tweet they were paid a zillion gold coins for. CNN posted a link about political uprisings in a country you’ve never heard...
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American Discord: Why Humans Need Hate Like Air
Michel Foucault writes, “A name makes reading too easy.” Foucault, a famous philosopher and activist during the latter part of the twentieth century, believed his celebrity made it impossible for...
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How To Make Trillions Of Dollars
Shutterstock Before I get into it, I must say that I don’t recommend that you do this. I’m sharing this strategy for information purposes only, so that you can understand the playing field you’re...
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Why We Buy Too Much Stuff
Shutterstock I was recently struck, like knocked to my knees, by a quote of George Saunders’. Asked of the pressure of raising kids in our society, where desire to give them the world and to keep up...
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Taco Bell Burrito As Fleshlight: An Inquiry
Name: “Beefy 5-Layer Burrito” Type: Hedonist Purveyor copy: Layers of seasoned beef, beans, real cheddar cheese and cool reduced-fat sour cream all wrapped in a flour tortilla with a special layer of...
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Cat Food Economics
I recently bought some Weruva “Grandma’s Chicken Soup” cat food which my thoughtful Calico enjoyed rapturously, lapping it up from the counter before I could place it on the floor. Finicky eaters, it’s...
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Here’s Some Marketing Advice: Your Product Sucks
For whatever reason, in my writing I seem to have assumed the role of the guy who says the things that no one else will say. But in my actual business life as a marketer, I’ve been struggling with...
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Your Job In Marketing & PR Is Dead in the Water
Sorry. Your marketing job just became obsolete. That communications degree is worthless. Those business books you read were wrong. The internship at a PR firm last summer? You could have done without...
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5 Ways To Make All Your Followers Hate Your Band
Luis Hernandez Social media is the most relevant, powerful marketing tool a band has, whether they are brand new and unknown, or world famous and have the massive promotional budget of a big record...
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The Right (And Wrong) Way To Market A Book
nSeika I love books. Probably too much for my own good. I’ve written three, edited several others and also had my fair share of success helping turn books into bestsellers (cumulatively, the books I’ve...
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Confessions Of A 20-Something Career Hopper
I have moments of extreme fear – fear of being exposed as a complete fraud. Those close to me know I am quite the anxious over-thinker. I think its due to the fact that I am keenly aware of how much I...
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Life Is Not A KFC Commercial
Image: FaceMePLS The dining room in the KFC on West 50th Street a few blocks from Times Square is in the basement. It is stuffy, dimly lit, and occasionally polluted by a mysterious funk. There are...
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A Devil Baby Terrorized The People Of NYC Except The City’s One Fearless...
I would not have had a good day if I encountered this beast on the street.
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How To Get An MBA From Eminem
In 2002 I was driving to a hedge fund manager’s house to hopefully raise money from him. I was two hours late. This was pre-GPS and I had no cell phone. I was totally lost. I kept playing over and over...
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9 Thoughts About This Actual Butthole In An American Apparel Ad
American Apparel I feel like we’re way overdue for glorifying the butthole. Like, there’s nothing wrong with a butthole. I know that a lot of people know that, and embrace their own buttholes, as well...
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